Finding Caitie Mae

Originally posted on my escort site, but the HotProvider blog engine doesn’t allow comments… Whose heard of a really cool blog with zero comments? Exactly.

Something Missing

If you’re here for the same reason I am, and I think you just might be, you’re here to make a connection. I’ve been in The Hobby for a long time and I’ve met a lot of wonderful people, but something has been missing in it for me. It took some time to put my finger on what it is that I’m not getting, but I’m coming to realize that for all of the connections I’ve made, the missing ingredient has become… well… me.

Compartments

Participation in The Hobby requires a certain level of separation between playground and player. The Hobby is not Real Life and the two don’t blend well. From the beginning of their participation here, providers and hobbyists alike separate the two aspects by a mental technique through which they categorize activities and emotions into “compartments” in order to keep them from mingling together.

Mingling emotions from Real Life with The Hobby exposes lots of conflict and can create lots of inner turmoil. Those who don’t separate one world from the other run a greater risk, in my opinion, of becoming victims of The Hobby rather than participants. Unguarded men and women, it seems, are more likely to face stalkers, angry spouses and so-called “trick babies” than those who keep The Hobby emotionally separate from Real Life.

There’s no doubt in my mind that emotional health in The Hobby requires some level of compartmentalization, but that level has to be evaluated and adjusted over time. I haven’t often evaluated my own level and because of that, The Hobby has left me feeling a bit empty. I’ve come to realize that at some point the benefits of maintaining mental compartments begins to diminish and possibly even negate it’s own purpose.

Getting Personal

Time spent in my company has been reviewed extensively over the years. Many have said that the passion I deliver in session feels so good that it must me real or feels so real that they don’t care it isn’t. I don’t know how to deliver an illusion of passion. I’ve never tried to create such an illusion. Instead, I have created a place in my head related to The Hobby and intimacy and I don’t allow anything other than passion and service to reside in that space. When you spend time with me, there is no IOP; my passion is real.

Although I’m passionate, I’ve not been very personal, and that has begun to take it’s toll on me. Caitie Mae, to me, has become someone who is difficult for me to reach and and with whom I can connect. It’s time for me to re-evaluate my compartments and give Caitie Mae new life. I’m glad you’re here to watch what happens. I’m ready to make new connections with you.

Blending the Old With the New

It was easiest to find the personality you’ve come to know when I was sharing and interacting with you more often. Through my blog I was able to share my fantasies, my opinions, my photos and even my sense of humor and your response to all of that helped to keep me full of the flavor of Caitie Mae that you. That’s why I’m back to blogging here and now. Expect more of what you have come to anticipate from my writing and my blog: erotic stories, advice/commentary, and Half-Naked Thursdays. Expect a lot more of what’s on my mind and more about sex (although the two are often the same…) I’ve also got a few surprises in store for you, too, so be sure to keep an eye on this space.